Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
