I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
