If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize