just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
