Me. At least after what I've been through.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize