Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
