I got chris browned last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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