Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
