butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
