We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
