If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
