? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
