so explain again why im purple
no
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
