sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
