Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
