wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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