im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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