so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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