i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
