I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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