ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
