I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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