can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
