after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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