Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
