you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize