I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
