I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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