Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
