peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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