Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
