Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
