Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
