Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize