I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize