there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
