i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
