took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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