He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
