New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
