We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
