I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
