You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
