I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
