I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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