So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I love having hate sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize