id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
