Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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