Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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