Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
