oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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