you told grandpa to call you daddy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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