i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
