i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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