I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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