I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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