no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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