We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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