Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
