everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
