he wants to bone in the snuggie
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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